Hello there. It’s been two months since my last confession. Or so it feels, anyway. I sit at my writing desk with the same yearning that I imagine people feel when they sit before a priest.

A mix of trepidation and relief.

Sentences have swirled in my mind over the past weeks but nothing with teeth. And then this morning the sentences snapped together to form a shape I can depict.

Over 30 of my extended family members spent a week every summer in Penticton, British Columbia. It was my favorite week each year. My aunt taught me to swim in the motel pool by holding one finger under me as I kicked and paddled. My cousins taught me to back dive in that pool. We rented a bunch of four-person bicycles for epic squirt gun fights that raged down the town’s main drag. We mini-golfed, go-carted, floated the river, and careened down water slides.

Our parents warned us one year to keep a lookout, though. Because a strange man in a blue van was suspected of kidnapping and believed to be in the area.

As I rode my bike one afternoon, I stopped at a busy intersection. The corner was packed with pedestrians. The light turned green, and I started to pedal, and that’s when I felt it—something behind me. A nudge. Resistance on the bike. I turned back to see a man, a stranger, and I pedaled as hard as I could. I sped into the motel parking lot and ran to my dad. “A man grabbed my bike!” I blurted.

When my dad asked if the man tried to grab me, I said: “yes.”

And with that, my fear grew solid.

That man was the kidnapper. The kidnapper tried to kidnap me.

The fear spread through the family. Everyone asked questions. The story grew legs. Details filled in the gaps. Anxiety spread. My dad spent that week keeping guard. Us kids didn’t go anywhere alone.

As the week continued without anything else happening in town, my fear started melting around the edges. Maybe nobody tried to grab me at all. Maybe a stranger accidentally bumped my bike on a crowded corner. But how could I share my doubts once the entire crew believed the story? And changed their behavior to match?

I recently read about a Trump supporter who worked at Detroit’s ballot-counting center on election day. She claims that a van delivering food to workers was actually there to smuggle in ballots marked for Biden.

Maybe she’s not trying to lie. Maybe people she respects asked her leading questions. Maybe her fears just grew solid. And she blurted those fears to the national news. And now what’s she supposed to say? Her crew believes the story. And they’ve changed their behavior to match.

Conspiracy theories are like that. They’re not about logic or facts or evidence. They’re about fears growing solid. And pretty soon, those solidified fears block our view.

Until we learn to un-solidify.

If enough light passes through, holes form, and the shape gets a little more translucent. We glimpse enough of the truth through the gaps to shake those fears loose and let them go.

Now, this is a bit of a non sequiter, but hear me out. I made these salted chocolate ginger shortbread cookies while mulling over these thoughts. And I tried to form half-moon shapes with the first batch, which reminded me that—at one point in my life—I believed the conspiracy theory that the United States never actually sent humans to the moon. Remembering that false belief—and the process of unraveling—snapped these sentences together. So, in an important way, this whole post originated with salted chocolate ginger shortbread cookies. (Sadly, the half-moon shape didn’t work out quite right, so full moon cookies is what we get.)

Plus, they’re definitely my favorite holiday (also non-holiday) cookie at the moment. They’re buttery. So buttery. Crispy on the outside and a little chewy on the inside. And filled with enough ginger to give them the tiniest kick and brighten all the other ingredients. They’re also excellent—maybe even better—on days two, three, and four.

May these cookies be as revelatory for you as they were for me.

Servings: Makes 24 cookies Time: 30 minutes active + 2-hour rest Via: Adapted from Alison Roman

The first time I made this recipe, I used volume measurements and a hand-held beater, and they didn’t work at all. It was a delicious but crumbly mess. So I tried weight measurements and a stand mixer, which worked like a charm.

I added a bit of cayenne pepper and turmeric to the dough. They add a nice earthy warmness, but the dough’s delicious without them, too.

I might add that this is the best straight cookie dough I’ve eaten. Since there’s no raw egg in the dough, I highly recommend grabbing a spoonful or two of dough before shaping into logs.

255 grams salted butter, chilled and cubed
100 grams granulated sugar
50 grams light brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
295 grams all-purpose flour
1/8th teaspoon cayenne pepper (optional)
1/4 teaspoon ground turmeric (optional)
3 ounces bittersweet dark chocolate, chopped (I like 70% dark chocolate)
3 ounces candied ginger, chopped
1 egg for eggwash
Turbinado sugar for coating
Maldon salt for topping

1. In a stand mixer with the paddle attachment (yes, a stand mixer is important here—see note above), cream the butter, granulated and brown sugars, and vanilla together until light and fluffy. (I set my stand mixer to speed 3 for mixing.)

2. Add the flour, cayenne, and turmeric to the bowl of the stand mixer and mix until just incorporated. (I set my mixer to “stir” or the lowest setting for this.)

3. Add the chocolate and ginger chunks to the bowl of the stand mixer and mix until barely combined. (Again, I stuck with the lowest setting.) The dough will be a bit crumbly (see photo above), but it shouldn’t be super dry.

4. Using your hands, divide the dough into two logs of even diameter (about two inches in diameter). Wrap in parchment or plastic wrap and refrigerate for two hours.

5. Meanwhile, line two baking sheets with parchment.

6. When ready to bake, heat oven to 350 degrees F.

7. Beat the egg in a small bowl with a fork. Unroll the logs of dough and dump some turbinado sugar on unrolled parchment. Brush the eggwash over the outside of the logs of dough but not the ends. Roll each log in turbinado sugar.

8. Using a serrated knife—a tomato knife works great—gently slice the dough into 1/2-inch rounds. Feel free to saw with the knife if you run into resistance from the chocolate or ginger. If the rounds crack/break, just smoosh them together with your hands.

9. Place the rounds on the prepared baking sheets about an inch apart. Sprinkle some Maldon salt on top.

10. Bake for 12-15 minutes or until edges just start to turn golden brown. Cool on the pan for a couple of minutes and then remove to a wire rack until fully cooled. Eat as many as you like. Store the rest in an airtight container in the freezer for the best freshness in the coming days.