Of Evictions, COVID, and Greek Tacos

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Our landlord pounded on the front door. So I got up from the dinner table, opened the door, and stood agape as he puffed himself up and screamed at my partner and me. His face reddened and spit-soaked fuck-bombs came flying out of his mouth. 

A few hours earlier, we’d let him know that we planned to help my in-laws finish a move by dropping off the things they’d stored at our house. We’d all self-quarantined weeks before Washington’s stay home order, and we took extreme precautions during the move to protect everyone involved. But our landlord still screamed that—if we saw my in-laws—we’d kill him, kill our parents, and kill ourselves with COVID-19.

He gave us 30 days to get out. The next day—maybe once he realized evictions are illegal—he resorted to blasting music and stomping on the roof. Two days later, he yelled that I was a fucking idiot while I sanitized our groceries outside.

Of course, our landlord had a key to our house. So we barricaded doors at night. We set up our computers as security cameras any time we went on a walk. We switched out our bedroom door handle for the locking bathroom handle, so it would take longer to reach us if he came through the front door at night. We figured out how to move into my in-laws’ house as safely and as quickly as possible.

So I’ve felt frayed for the last month. Displaced. Scared. 

I felt similarly on election night 2016. Then I turned to currant cream scones. This time it was Greek tacos that rooted me. Something about the rhythm of chopping, the squishy crumble of feta in my fingers, and a quick knead released a pressure valve. I realized I felt at home for the first time in a month.

Cooking stabilizes me. I combine flour, baking powder, salt, yogurt, water, and butter, and stretchy, layered flatbread results. (At least most of the time.) There’s an order of operations. There’s a safety inherent in making something with steps; it means I’m not in survival mode. And so, if you find yourself with the capacity to cook, I can’t recommend highly enough pairing Smitten Kitchen’s Greek salad with her flatbread and garlicky yogurt sauce.


Servings: 4 Time: 2 hours* Via: Adapted from Smitten Kitchen (specific links above)

*If you get store-bought flatbread, naan, or pita bread, this can easily be whipped up in 40 minutes or less. I’d just toast/warm-up the bread in the oven a bit while finishing prep on the rest.

Flatbread
2 cups all-purpose flour + extra for rolling
2 teaspoons Diamond brand kosher salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 cup yogurt
1 teaspoon to 3 tablespoons water
5 tablespoons melted, unsalted butter

Greek salad
3-4 Persian cucumbers (or 1 large English cucumber), chopped
1 red bell pepper, chopped
2 cups grape or cherry tomatoes, halved or quartered
1/2 cup kalamata olives, halved
1/2 small red onion, thinly sliced
1 lemon, zested and juiced
4 tablespoons olive oil
Fresh or dried oregano to taste
Salt to taste
Pepper to taste
4-6 ounces feta cheese, crumbled

Garlicky yogurt sauce
3/4 cup yogurt
2 small garlic cloves, pressed/minced
Dried or fresh dill to taste
Salt to taste
Pepper to taste

  1. Start with the flatbread because it needs time to rest. Whisk together 2 cups flour, 2 teaspoons salt, and 1 teaspoon baking powder in a large bowl.

  2. Add 1 cup of yogurt and stir with a wooden spoon to combine. Feel free to mash the mixture together a bit.

  3. If the dough isn’t coming together (i.e., there’s dry flour that won’t mix in), add water in small increments until it comes together. If using a looser yogurt, start adding 1 teaspoon of water at a time. If using a thicker yogurt (e.g., Greek yogurt), you can probably add water in 1 tablespoon increments. Fair warning, too much water will make the dough a sticky mess that’s much harder to work with.

  4. Knead the dough—including any unmixed bits from the bowl—for 1-2 minutes. Then form it into a rough ball.

  5. Let the dough rest on a lightly floured counter with the bowl over top of it for 30 minutes.

  6. While the dough rests, make as much of the Greek salad as possible.

  7. Quarter the cucumbers lengthwise and then cut 1/4 inch slices. (So you end up with 4 1/4 inch wedges per slice.)

  8. Chop the bell pepper

  9. Halve or quarter the tomatoes

  10. Halve the olives

  11. Thinly slice the red onion

  12. Zest the lemon

  13. Combine the lemon zest and chopped fruits and vegetables in a serving bowl.

  14. Add the lemon juice, olive oil, oregano, salt, and pepper to the salad and stir to combine.

  15. When the flatbread dough is rested, divide it into 8 wedges with a knife or dough scraper.

  16. On a lightly floured counter, roll one wedge at a time into a roughly 6-inch diameter circle/oblong shape. No need to be perfect here. Brush a light coating of melted butter on the circle and roll it into a snake shape. Then coil the snake like a snail (see photo above). Repeat for each wedge.

  17. Let the coiled dough rest another 15 minutes or so under the same bowl as before.

  18. Meanwhile, finish the Greek salad using the above steps and make the garlicky yogurt sauce.

  19. Combine 3/4 cup yogurt with 2 small, pressed/minced garlic cloves. Add dill, salt, and pepper to taste. Stir it up again.

  20. Back to the flatbread. Heat your oven to 200 degrees F. for keeping the flatbread warm.

  21. Warm a skillet or griddle on medium-low.

  22. On a lightly floured counter, roll one coiled dough into a roughly 5-inch diameter circle/oblong. Brush one side with a thin layer of butter. Repeat with as many as will fit on your griddle/pan.

  23. Place as many flatbreads as will fit butter-side down on your pan/griddle. While they cook, brush more butter on the top side. Cook until bubbly and a deep golden-brown color on the bottom. Then flip and cook the second side until that same color. Once cooked, place on an oven-safe plate in the warm oven until ready to serve. Repeat for all the dough.

  24. Add the feta crumbles to the Greek salad and stir.

  25. Indulge in your vice of choice to congratulate yourself for making a 24-step meal.

  26. Serve. I like to serve the Greek tacos unassembled so everyone can add as much or little of each element as they like. Plus, combining elements at the table feels casual and inclusive. Everybody gets their hands a little dirty.

This whole meal makes for great leftovers. I love the Greek salad plain the next day or combined with quinoa for a little protein. The flatbreads can be toasted, and I must say, make a perfect foundation for butter and jam, or eggs, or butter and cinnamon sugar. The yogurt sauce forms the base of this recipe, it really elevates a regular old baked potato, and it makes an addictive veggie dip.